The Lament Of Prisoner 1936-4358-G

 

Martha Stewart, be my bitch,

my prison cell for you to redecorate, I have an itch.

Forget all those Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton fantasies,

you’re the one I know I can please.

 

I’m just a good girl gone wrong.

I can’t help being physically strong.

I hadn’t planned to snap that guy’s neck,

but after I shot his girlfriend, I figured “what the heck?”

 

Martha, Martha, I promise I won’t hit you much.

I only use my violence as a crutch.

I know it’s not right, and I’ll stop doing it for you.

I’ll curb my intentions to be so cruel.

 

I know for you, I would reform.

You could teach me how to cook and sew,

and I’ll teach you how to be a high-class ‘ho.

So hurry and plead guilty, cause I just can’t wait,

for our first romantic cellblock date.

 

R. A. Melos

 

copyright 2004

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