Excerpt from The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad

Due out the end of 2002 

 

        Pip moved toward the switch connected to the electrodes, which were connected to Harry's nipples. Fag Hag laughed in a cackling manner while her boyfriend, and possible future police chief, Tony Penisilla, fawned over her.

           Larry knew she had to do something fast or Harry would be toast, literally. Then she spotted it. A bottle sitting on the edge of the lab table, near the switch. She could almost tell from the fumes emitting from the bottle, it was the same cologne Tony wore. God, she thought, Pip must've invented it. What an evil mind he has!

         Pip placed his hand on the switch. "Goodbye, Gay Boy." He said, throwing the switch.

         Larry saw her chance. The henchmen holding her were just right to balance her weight against. She moved quickly, jumping up and kicking over the bottle of hideous cologne. It fell against the switch box and the bottle shattered. What happened next took everyone by surprise. A jolt of blue hued ball lightening enveloped the switch box and shot down the electrodes directly into Harry's chest. He slumped to the floor, and the switch box exploded.

        Smoke and flames were shooting everywhere. In the confusion, Larry stomped the feet of her captors and escaped. She ran to Harry. "Oh god, I've killed him." She grabbed his shoulders and began shaking him. "Harry! Harry! Please don't be dead. This really isn't a good day to die. It's raining out. No one wants to die in the rain."

         Harry groaned. "Wha-wha. Oh, God! I have a headache like you wouldn't believe."

         Larry grabbed Harry and hugged him. "You're not dead. I didn't kill you."

         "No. In fact, I've never felt better in my life. I feel invigorated. Would you mind untying these ropes."

         Larry quickly released him from his bondage. He felt a slight pang of disappointment, but maybe later the swim coach would be available for some rope games of their own.

         Larry held out her hand to help Harry up. When he took it a strange purple glow surrounded them both. "Whoa! What's happening?" She said.

         "I don't know, but I feel strange, excited, happy, relaxed, all at once, like I did at my first pride parade."

         "Me too," Larry said, "Just like when I first shouted 'We're queer and we're here!'"

As she spoke the words the purple light flashed red, and suddenly Larry was wearing a red and black leather blazer and thigh length black leather skirt with a red silk blouse beneath the blazer. She had on red and black control top stockings and red and black leather ankle boots with little red and black wings on the heels, and a red and black mask covered her eyes.. "What the Fu--!"

         "Watch it, we're PG-13 here," Harry reminded her.

         "Oh, sorry. What the heck is this?"

         "I don't know."

         "All I did was say 'we're queer and we're here--'" Again the light flashed red and Larry was back to herself. "Whoa! This is getting too weird. And what was up with those boots?"

         "Again, I don't know."

         "You try it," Larry said. She gripped his hand again.

         "We're queer and we're here," Harry said. The light flashed blue, and Harry was now wearing an electric blue shark skin suit, black shirt with a diamond neck pin, blue mask, and blue snakeskin calf high boots.

         "Holy sh--"

         "PG-13," Harry said again.

         "Holy crap! You look like a 70's disco pimp." Larry said with a smirk.

         "Oh, and that red and black number was better?" Harry retorted, looking himself over as best he could in the smoke filled room. "Hey, did you feel different when you changed?"

         "Different?"
         "Like you had more strength, more energy, more everything?"

         "Shit, we must've turned into some kind of gay super heroes!" Larry almost squealed with delight. "Let me change again." She grabbed his hand. "We're queer and we're here!" More red flashes, and she changed. "This is awesome."

 

Back To Book Promo